I am quiet as I watch the world go by
Some are interested only in their
lives Or what they may get from
There are those few who stop and
Ask questions,appearing interested
Looking beyond the replies into
what lies beneath.
And sometimes they see the
darkness, the vulnerability
A reflection they realise, of
themselves and they hurry off.
And then there are those who open
Scrutinise with curiosity and
confusion and look at me from
I remain more silent and still under
For my strength and vulnerability
are a paradox to them,
An enigma of defence and defiance.
They approach and retreat but
continue to engage
Talking, releasing, understanding
my need to appear strong and be
strong -when inside I’m crying out
in fear and with anxiety for reprisal
and rejection, for retaliation and
They understand my need for
control and yet, to submit to
something so much stronger than I,
that I quake and shake internally
that eventually my tears of
frustration and disappointment
flow as tears of joy that I am being
Once safe and secure on my perch, I
thank them for recognising my
bravery, for seeing that indeed in
sitting here naked before all- that I
am indeed facing my fears.
It is only whilst I sit here that I see
the truth of what Fisher once said,
that the greatest part of a road trip
isn’t arriving at your destination.
It’s all the wild stuff that happens
along the way.
Here’s to embracing the fears that
mean I stride out and face them, to
those that look beyond the facade of
self management and see the real
me, my darkness and light – and
hold it all. I thank you.