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IMG_8825The sun rises and my soul stirs awake

My body responding in synchronicity to the sounds of birds

It hums and stretches and I feel my muscles lengthen

My spine elongating

As I reach up above me for the sky

Hearing little muffles leaving my mouth as I greet the world hello…


Getting up I kneel in homage to the day ahead

Knowing that in my near naked self

I am open to the moment

To the feelings that wash through me

And I feel my nipples tighten

My belly stirs

And I feel heat flood my skin

Making me swollen with memories of your lips on mine

And I arch like a cat, shooting that feeling along my body

To my mouth

And I gasp.

My body trembles with mild spasm

My breasts full and hanging

As I drop on one knee

Throwing my head back and exhale

And allow the feeling to continue its course

As you watch me, vulnerable and exposed to you.
I open my eyes

And see you watching me

And I feel like a queen before you

Shy but proud

Vulnerable and strong

And stretching your hand

I accept, touching you, allowing you to guide me home to you.

Allow me I ask, perchance to sleep so that I may awaken like this again.


I See You, Do You See Me?


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Sitting here

I am quiet as I watch the world go by

Some are interested only in their 

lives Or what they may get from 


There are those few who stop and 


Ask questions,appearing  interested

Looking beyond the replies into 

what lies beneath.

And sometimes they see the

darkness, the vulnerability

A reflection they realise, of 

themselves and they hurry off.

And then there are those who open

their eyes, 

Scrutinise with curiosity and

confusion and look at me from 

every angle.

I remain more silent and still under

their inspection,

For my strength and vulnerability 

are a paradox to them,

An enigma of defence and defiance.

They approach and retreat but 

continue to engage

Talking, releasing, understanding 

my need to appear strong and be 

strong -when inside I’m crying out 

in fear and with anxiety for reprisal 

and rejection, for retaliation and 

harm …

They understand my need for 

control and yet, to submit to 

something so much stronger than I, 

that I quake and shake internally 

that eventually my tears of 

frustration and disappointment 

flow as tears of joy that I am being 


Once safe and secure on my perch, I 

thank them for recognising my 

bravery, for seeing that indeed in 

sitting here naked before all- that I 

am indeed facing my fears.

It is only whilst I sit here that I see 

the truth of what Fisher once said, 

that the greatest part of a road trip 

isn’t arriving at your destination. 

It’s all the wild stuff that happens 

along the way.

Here’s to embracing the fears that 

mean I stride out and face them, to 

those that look beyond the facade of 

self management and see the real 

me, my darkness and light – and 

hold it all. I thank you.

My days…


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I was thinking of you today

And even though I see you

I miss the moments we aren’t together.


I was thinking of the things we’ve done

the things you’ve touched and trying to

make my fingertips come to life with you.


I was thinking of the things we’ve said

And quietly nodded my consent and

agreement to discussions and arguments past and present.

I was thinking of the laughter we’ve shared

The jokes you make at my expense

The way you break a miserable day with a smile, a coffee, a silly comment.


I was thinking of your touch

They way you play my tune to a building heat and crescendo

And with quiet flourish

Release the tension in the air.



I was thinking of you today

And I am missing you

And it’s like this you see, everyday.

Until the next moment I see you, smell you, laugh and cry with you,

It’s like this everyday

For it makes me realise I am alive

And I wouldn’t change it at all.






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Crosswords may create a dilemma of negotiation

A navigation of clues both across and down

An enigma of cryptic words that are synonyms for words I do not use,

Or puns for phrases that I do not understand.

They can also be the language you use to traverse my body

Driving me insane with senseless teasing or they can be the pointers of direction

Guiding me to completion and fulfilment of a long-sought for solution.

Crosswords expunge me emotionally


Bringing frustration and the satiation by the joy I feel when I win

And in that space

I find you
I find me

And I am satisfied.      IMG_7201



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I feel it creeping over me

the shadow evaporating as

warmth begins to replace it,

the tingling of my skin


and receptive, wanting

I am as naked

as the day I was born.

Wanton and free

of inhibition 

and exposed to neighbourly curiosity 

…Should they be interested.

But this drives me,

the tingling and warmth 

capturing my body

as I lie in wake

but with eyes closed, fluttering,

seeing your face in the clouds

as I feel the heat spread.

I part my legs slightly

in invitation,

an acquiescence of my consent

in the knowledge that I may burn,

a chance I’m willing to take

such that I may delight in the hand

of heat

from the Sun.

The Hands of time


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2013-06-05 21.11.58Elapsed time is sometimes the thief of my memories
The hands that tic toc splitting the moments from the hours
The dial that shows me the experiences that flash by.

Sometimes I try stop time because in that moment I am learning something, I am alive, I am joyful and free. But in capturing it, I entrap that feeling to me I become bound to the memory more than to living life itself.

That memory is no longer free and neither am I. And with this recognition, I let go of the clock and invite the thief of time. Let him take the moments and the hours, the days and months and the years, but leave me with the memories and the feelings recreated by them and I promise, not to try make time stand still.

No pictures needed…


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When you are hurt
It’s like being hit by a truck
Crippling you
Maiming you

When you are hurt
It’s like a pantomime
‘He’s behind you’ they shout
And everyone laughs

When you are hurt
It’s like the shadows
Haunting and forming
By the light that pierces the dark

When you are hurt
It’s like there is nothing
No pain no feelings no fear
For you are an empty vessel that fills with what occupies it’s space

For when you are hurt
You are everything
Undivided and complete
Because you strive to live and survive and be the best you can be
You build and restore and grow and replenish
Every day
Every hour of life and love
You thrive.

It’s not what you look at that matters,
It’s what you see,
It’s not if you’ve been hurt,
But if
you feel free.

Life in your hands 


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IMG_7029Harsh is the heat
that dries the soil
Softening is the rain
that permeates and liberates the roots below the soul that grows the life that moves
The sun and rain
Elements that destroy
Or when in balance,
Nourish and protect the body as it reaches out beyond its confines of safety and darkness
And as she extends
She is vulnerable to burning drying wilting
Dependent on the power of the hands that may guide nurture support
The yin and yang of rain and sun
Striking the right dynamic for her vitality and final emergence as a sparkling flower
The woman she is.
And dutifully, as servant
she pays homage
the elements
of Power.