I am burning with thoughts
of heat and anger
driven to distraction by darkness within me
where does this side
this temporary state of grey and black
drives me to want to lash out
and hurt back
and yet, knowing this and driven by balance
i resettle and try watch the thoughts
looking for their authenticity or mirage
and finding little but more darkness
this is best for me at this moment
a surreal measure of control and ceding
for i know the consequences of my passion would be to attack and destroy
and my future, in this regard, is far too an important reality
for balance to be compromised,
for the sake of feeling powerful over another
and controlling of my fear and anxiety.
what am i, if i lose control?
i am like the beast that taunts and teases
provoking and receding
but ultimately afraid of their own shadow
of the sounds in their brain
of the instability in their core.
we are mirrors to some extent
but i proudly own my shadow before me
and those dark thoughts?
they stun and remind me,
that i am human after all.
and so for this lesson dear perpetrator
i thank you.
my heart beats and i am grateful for its pounding
my mind wars and i become more strategic
my anxiety rises
and i learn to keep myself safe.
for all of this, again i thank you.
my lesson is learned.